Rob Kardashian has always been overshadowed by his famous sisters, but no more. He’s stepping into the spotlight with his own issue: weight gain. Ah, to be young and insecure. Good thing he’s got three meddling sisters who just want him to be happy, right?
Now Bruce has his own family that finally gets to be featured on the show, and he’s over at their house supporting Brandon and Lea’s band. They’ve put together a big backyard performance, and everyone is invited, including Kylie and Kendall, and Bruce’s ex-wife, Linda. Bruce and Linda were only married for four years, but in that time, they had Brandon and Brody. Seven years after they divorced, he met Kris, and the rest is history.
Rob calls up Kim and tells her that he’s completely depressed by his weight gain. Like a good sister, she assures him that he’s totally not a disappointment to the family, and promises to help him work out a plan to combat his flab. She even makes an appointment for the twosome to work out with famous celebrity trainer Gunnar Peterson, but he flakes at the last minute. Turns out, Rob isn’t willing to work at it yet.
Kim gets news that her father’s ex-wife has been selling stories to the tabloids again (remember the whole “Khloe is adopted debacle?), and this time, it’s that Kris beat Kim senseless as a child. The ex-wife married Robert Kardashian on his deathbed, and has been spreading lies and rumors about the family ever since. The girls want to take her down somehow. Enter Jake the PI from Miami.
Brody has been feeling blue because he sees the way his father interacts with Kendall and Kylie, and it’s not the way he remembers his own childhood. Bruce wasn’t around much when he was a kid, and it really messed Brody up. I mean, we’ve all seen The Hills. From the way Brody remembers it, Bruce never even called on his birthday; Brandon and his stepfather acted as surrogate fathers when Bruce didn’t pull through.
When he tries to talk to Bruce about this casually, while they’re all having a family outing at the beach, Bruce dismisses him immediately, and it crushes him. Oh god, it’s the end of The Hills all over again. Later, Brody goes to a surf shop with Kim to go shopping for wetsuits, which doesn’t make any sense, but keep with me. She shares a sweet anecdote about Bruce taking care of Kendall and Kylie, and that prompts Brody to share his feelings. Kim, wise as she is, advises Brody that there are two sides to every story, and that maybe he should just talk to Bruce. WHAT A NOVEL CONCEPT.
Khloe and Kim decide that the only way to deal with Rob is to fight fire with fire – give him so much junk food, he’ll never want to eat junk food again. It works too well; he eats everything in sight, then follows it up with a bowl of ice cream. But he promises to hit the gym in the morning, so maybe there’s a breakthrough?
Kim and Khloe, Dream Team, also went ahead and hired Jake the PI from Miami, who I’m not sure how or why he’s in LA, to investigate the woman spreading lies about their mother. Turns out she’s been married five times, and has had multiple bankruptcies, so she has definite motive to sell stories. The girls hire an attorney to serve her for defamation, and put an end to her tabloid reign.
After basically everyone in the family telling Bruce to stop being a whiny baby and to talk to his son, he finally sits down with Brody. Poor Brody looks like the world’s saddest puppy, but the talk goes well. Bruce tells him that he wanted to be around, but the circumstances of the divorce with his mother were too hostile. Brody calls his bluff, and tells him that he should have been there anyway.
Bruce recognizes that he messed up, and he and Brody agree to move forward and establish a better relationship. They hug it out and drink almond milk.
- – Did anyone notice that the song Brandon and Lea’s band performed was the theme for Kourtney and Kim Take Miami? How cute that they threw their stepbrother a bone.
- – I feel like all the atrocities Brody Jenner ever committed on MTV and otherwise are excused now, after seeing how his father treated him. Even Princes of Malibu. Especially Spencer Pratt.
- – Best Quote: Kim: « It’s sad. It’s like so sad. Like I could cry if I think about it too long. »